it's probably because its a little after five am that im feeling this way, but something has depressed me, yesterday was easter sunday and i went to church for the first time in a long while, this particular church's preacher is a friend of my family's and we went based on request from him. it was a very small and humbling place and the preacher didnt get up and tell you how bad you were and how you were going to hell if you didnt do what he was doing. but after the service the youth minister/music director came up to me and told him god was speaking to him to tell me to stop running from him. i was naturally taken back by this because my mother had told me the same thing a few days earlier. i honestly dont believe that im per say running from god but more im running from the circus that is organized religon. i still have my own faith and i do honestly believe god has blessed me. it just hurts me to listen to all these people tell each other they are better than the other. i've never considered myself a religous man. but i do believe that something is out there watching over us. and if that is the good lord then so be it.
my soul is heavy today.
here's a little gillian welch which makes me feel a hell of a lot better
Caleb Meyer, he lived alone
In them hollarin' pines
Then he made a little whiskey for himself
Said it helped pass the time
Long one evening in back of my house,
Caleb come around
And he called my name 'til I went out
with no one else around
Caleb Meyer, your ghost is gonna
wear them rattlin' chains.
but when I go to sleep at night,
Don't you call my name
Where's your husband, Nellie Kane
Where's your darlin gone?
Did he go down off the mountain side
and leave you all alone?
Yes, my husband's gone to Bowlin' Green
to do some business there.
Then Caleb threw that bottle down
and grabbed me by my hair.
Caleb Meyer, your ghost is gonna
wear them rattlin' chains.
but when I go to sleep at night,
Don't you call my name
He threw me in the needle bed,
across my dress he lay
then he pinned my hands above my head
and I commenced to pray.
I cried My God, I am your child
send your angels down
Then feelin' with my fingertips,
the bottle neck I found
I drew that glass across his neck
as fine as any blade,
and I felt his blood pour fast and hot
around me where I laid.
Caleb Meyer, your ghost is gonna
wear them rattlin' chains.
But when I go to sleep at night,
Don't you call my name
Caleb Meyer, your ghost is gonna
wear them rattlin' chains.
But when I go to sleep at night,
Don't you call my name
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